what dave didn't tell me about... buying a house

Summer is over.

Even though I have spent way too much of my time in the climate-controlled-indoors, I can tell the season has ended. The requisite back to school pics have flooded my newsfeed; I turned on the heat in my car yesterday morning; and I already hear rumblings of a "polar vortex."

The end of summer also means that the house buying season is coming to a close. And I'm still sitting in a rental. I have not given up hope, but the process has been a lot more difficult than I anticipated.

It's no secret that I am a proponent of Dave Ramsey's teaching. We budgeted and sacrificed and finished paying off all of our debt last year. Since then, we have been saving for a home.

Consequently, we have a zero credit score. I knew that this could make buying a home a little more challenging, but Dave tells me that it can be done without a problem!

I started the process by talking with a few local banks and mortgage companies. I was either turned away or given crummy options. I was repeatedly told that I need to build my credit and to "get a few credit cards and come back in six months." The professionals passed me around like a hot potato that no one wanted to deal with.

This was discouraging but not all that surprising. So I called Churchill Mortgage, the company that Dave Ramsey advertises as specializing in no-credit-score mortgages. The man that answered the phone was somewhat helpful. They can do manual underwriting for no-credit-score mortgages, but they do not start the process until I have a contract and an accepted offer for a home. Also, the interest rate on the mortgage would be at least 5%, which is more than a traditional mortgage.

I continued searching for properties that fit my needs and wants. I even made an offer on a home. It was countered, and I decided to let the offer die. I did not have my own realtor, and I was feeling increasingly uncomfortable about the realtor who was selling the home. He was pushy and left me feeling bullied. I caught him in at least one lie, and he was always saying that other people were making offers and interested in the home (which is still on the market now a month later).

So I decided to get my own realtor to help me in this process. Naturally, I turned to Dave Ramsey's Endorsed Local Provider (ELP) service for realtors. There is one in my area so I gave her a call. She stated that she would help me after I was pre-approved for a mortgage. My guy from Churchill confirmed that he cannot pre-approve me for any amount since I do not have a credit score, even though the Churchill Mortgage website advises that everyone should get pre-approved. This did not satisfy my ELP realtor, the one person who I hoped would understand my situation. So I found a bank that would pre-approve me, but they would only give me an adjustable rate mortgage with a crummy interest rate. By the way, that is not the type of mortgage that Dave Ramsey recommends.

For some reason, I went through with the pre-approval, hoping the ELP realtor would hear me out or give me a chance. Right after I was pre-approved, I called the ELP realtor. She told me that she would do some research on a house we were interested in and call me back. Apparently, she is really busy or something because I have not heard back from her.

I feel like I keep running in circles, and I'm not getting anywhere. I still believe in Dave Ramsey's principles, and I agree with Dave that the system is flawed. It doesn't make sense to me that having debt qualifies you to get more debt. But not having debt and actually having money, disqualifies you.

I do not regret paying off the debt. And I do not want to play the credit card game, trying to achieve the best credit score. But Dave makes it sound so easy. In reality, it has been difficult and time consuming! I can't get the mortgage that he recommends and work with the people that he recommends. Now, I feel stuck.

The dream of home ownership now seems elusive. I am confident that it will happen someday, just not this summer.

spontaneous vacation

Earlier this summer, KB and I went on vacation. It's true; we got out of town for the first time since our honeymoon.  We'd had a rough couple of months, and we had a small window of opportunity. It felt divine; we needed to get away to restore our marriage, and God made it possible.

So we did. It was spontaneous and wonderful. That's right, I went on a spontaneous vacation...words that I have never before uttered.

Gatlinburg, Tennessee was our destination, and we stayed in a cabin in the mountains. I would highly recommend the cabin. It was affordable and had everything we wanted. The only challenge was navigating the steep driveway and winding roads. Good old "Betty Ford" worked hard and got us through.

This was our first time in the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area. We spent most of our time in the Smoky Mountains National Park, hiking the trails and taking in the sights.

We even hiked eleven miles to take in the "best mountain views." Unfortunately, all we could see was fog.

There were signs all over warning us about black bears. While all of those around us seemed excited about the opportunity, I was slightly terrified. I had no desire to encounter a bear on the trails. We did actually see a bear in a valley, but luckily, it was from the comfort of our car.

There were plenty of other touristy activities to be done as well. Some of our favorites: becoming familiar with a variety of birds, playing mini-golf, and going to the Dixie Stampede.

I was not necessarily expecting to but I really enjoyed the Dixie Stampede. The food was excellent, the entertainment was fantastic, and there were horses. I'd go again, even if the North wins every time.

We came away realizing that we should make an effort to take vacations more regularly.   Duh!!

venison lovin

We do Valentine's Day on the chill side. A few gifts, some favorite treats, and our classic at-home date night, frozen pizza and a Redbox. Kb thoughtfully picked out a movie about a group of people who struggle with addiction. He knows that I am interested in addictions, and he thought that I would enjoy it.

However, the movie synopsis that Kb skimmed through apparently did not include that the addiction that plagues the characters is a sex addiction.

Such a scenario creates a strange mood for Valentine's Day.

 Overshare? Maybe.

How about some recipes?!

My dad, the hunter, gifted us a big chunk of his deer in the form of steaks and ground venison. It's no secret that I skimp on meat so we (especially Kb) really love this gift. I've enjoyed experimenting with the venison and creating some scrumptious dishes.

I found this venison pie recipe from this forum.

1 lb ground venison
1 large onion chopped
1/2 cup salsa
1 package Taco seasoning 1.5oz(McCormick)
1/4 tsp pepper
8.5 oz of canned corn
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup of bisquick or biscuit mix

In a large skillet, cook ground meat and onion over medium heat and drain. Stir in the salsa, taco seasoning,corn, and pepper. Transfer to a greased 9 inch pie plate; sprinkle with cheese.

In a large bowl mix the eggs, milk and biscuit mix; pour over cheese. Bake at 400 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until a knife inserted near the center comes out clean.

 
It turned out pretty good! I omitted the onion (to Kb's dismay) and used homemade taco seasoning. Also, my 9 inch pie plate could not handle the amount of goodness in the recipe. Next time, I'll use a casserole dish.

I repeat, do not use a pie plate. There may be a thin layer of charred biscuit mix in the bottom of your oven. The smoke alarm may go off. And you will probably be reminded that you desperately need to clean your oven. 

 Even better than the venison pie were these burgers. I am not a big fan of burgers, but the meat was thawed, it was 10:00 PM, and Kb needed something manly to eat. I was a little nervous about the cooking time so I cut into the first cooked burger and sampled it. (btw I cooked them for 3-4 minutes per side)

It was ridiculously, wonderfully tasty. 

I was not prepared for this, but I recovered quickly. I toasted a bun, slapped on a slice of cheese, and gobbled it right up. Yum.

Go find yourself some fresh venison!

blue betty vs winter

This winter marches on. More snow and More cold.

Yesterday, my mom suggested a trip to Target, and I turned her down. This is serious, people. The relentless winter has gotten to me.

You'll find me covered in layers of clothes and huddled under a quilt, reading this book or this one. Besides a few times when I did venture out this week, the results were disheartening. Wednesday, I did not get more than a mile away from home and my attempt to cruise down an unplowed road proved futile. Blue Betty, my good old ford focus, couldn't hack it.

Then, on Friday, I was rolling down a semi-clear highway when the serpentine belt flew right off. What's a serpentine belt, you ask? Well, I learned pretty quickly that it is an extremely vital piece of rubber.  Blue Betty died right there on the highway.

Believe it or not, there was an upside. When I was stuck in the snow, six guys pulled up in their trucks offering help. Even if they could not help me, apparently I was in too deep, they made sure that I was warm and that my car had fuel. After an hour and a half, three guys worked together and succeeded in breaking me free.

And after my serpentine belt bit the dust, my coworkers helped me get to work and made sure that I had a vehicle if I needed to go to appointments. Later in the day, my dad and his friend, Dan the Man, arrived to save the day. They worked out in the subzero temps until that pesky serpentine belt was replaced and Blue Betty was good as new.

I've learned that there is no shame in staying home, hiding from the world beneath my quilt.

But I've also been the recipient of great kindness and generosity from strangers, coworkers, and family. And of that, I am so thankful.

holiday blues antidote

The holidays are a lovely time for most. For others, it is depressing and disheartening. Let me suggest a holiday blues antidote.

Gingerbread houses.

Go ahead. Channel your inner architect. It worked for me when I came home from college during the month-long Christmas break. It was the perfect festive distraction that kept me occupied during that weird time of life. Bless my mother for allowing me to monopolize and destroy her kitchen for the entirety of the holidays.

Can't sleep? Construct a hot tub.

Discouraged? Add a dog house.

While the gingerbread house is a classic, don't feel constrained. Gingerbread is not limited to houses! One particular Christmas break, I made a gingerbread playground which included a functioning teeter totter, carousel, and swings.

Keeping my mind and my hands busy helps me to remain content. And creating something out of candy and gingerbread is just fun.

It may seem silly. After I returned to college, my mom threw away my candy creations and reclaimed her kitchen. But during that time, I needed a reprieve, a project that captured my attention.
Regardless of the circumstances this holiday season, don't allow discouragement to overwhelm you. Embark on a project that captures your thoughts and your time. Allow yourself to be distracted for a time.  Creating something brings forth feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction, even if it is something silly.

bright spots

The blah is back. It hits me this time of year. The leaves have blown away, it's dark before dinner time, and the cold won't leave my bones. Car trouble and family issues have mixed in to sweeten the pot this year. It's not all bad though. Apparently, when the trees are bare, there is less of a chance of them blowing over when tornadic winds roll through.

At least that is what the weatherman told us as we hunkered down in the basement last weekend. Spur was quite interested in the forecast.

In the midst of the blah, I breached the quarter century mark. Phew. It passed by rather uneventfully. However, I did receive a few stellar gifts. I'm not a kid anymore, but opening gifts is still a little bit magical. Tell me I'm not the only one.

First up, this bracelet. Unfortunately, it's not available anymore. Items from this shop are one of a kind! I must have child-size wrists because the smallest size is still big. But it's westerny and horsey, and I love it. The site also has some other fun and affordable jewelry!

Next, a 31 bag in a denim-like print that is so me. It has perfect pockets, and I can't wait to stuff it with snacks, layers and other essentials for adventure days.

Lastly, a beastly blender. Kb reminded me, of course, that this is the third blender we've had since we have been married. Nonetheless, I have high hopes for this guy. And I promise not to blend frozen broccoli so that should help. Thus far he has made my chunky salsa smooth and my blueberry-banana smoothie blended. Success.

We'll don snow boots and march on through the blahs with bright spots of bracelets and blended drinks.

grocery store strategies

Throughout our debt free journey, I have taken on grocery shopping as my personal challenge. We allot $220 for food every month. Obviously, eating out is a rare treat so that money needs to cover a lot of breakfasts, lunches, and dinners. Along the way, I have learned a few tips and strategies to help stretch our grocery budget...


1. I don't use coupons, but I always go to the grocery store with a list. Prior to going to the store, I plan out the next week's meals and recipes to determine what I need. A list that contains only what I need keeps me on track and reduces the temptation to buy items that I do not need.


2. I try to go to the grocery store as little as possible. Once a week works well for me, but if I were a little more organized once every other week would be even better. I find the more that I go to the grocery store, the more likely I am to pick up items here and there that I don't need.

3. Meat could amass much of my grocery budget if not handled carefully, especially since my husband is a meat loving man. So I have some policies for buying meat. First, I don't pay more than $2 per pound for meat. That means we don't buy steak, ribs, or much ground beef. Also, I avoid meat with bones or skin. We don't eat that stuff so I don't want to pay for it.

Around here, sales run periodically that put chicken breasts, pork chops or loin, ham, and turkey at or under my price point. When I find a good sale on meat, I stock up.

A few weeks ago, Martin's Supermarkets had ground beef for $1.99/pound. This is significantly discounted, and I bought ten pounds! When I got home from the store, I divided the ground beef into approximately one pound chunks and put them in the freezer in quart size freezer bags. This method is convenient and cuts costs!

Another way to save money on meat is to take advantage of "after hours" sales. Certain grocery stores (like Meijer) offer discounted deli meat after 8 PM.


4. Cheese can also be expensive. I have found that the cheapest way to buy cheese is by the chunk. A local country store sells "odds and ends" chunks of cheese for $2 per pound. I don't need to pay someone else to slice and shred cheese. In addition, I find that when I have to slice and shred the cheese myself, I tend to use less. It's better for my waistline and my wallet!

 snoopy!

5. We do not regularly buy snack foods. Most of the time, we have tortilla chips and popcorn (kernals--not microwave) in the cupboard, but that's about it.  Chips and cookies are expensive and of little nutritional value. Because we do not buy junk food, it makes a fun treat for special occasions (or for when we visit my parent's house). Last Christmas, Kb got Oreos in his stocking, and I received my favorite snack mix as a birthday treat!


6.  Don't be afraid to shop at a discount grocery store. I use Pine Hill, but other discount stores can be found here. I'll admit, I steer clear of some items at the discount store, and I do check expiration dates. Some of my favorite items to get at Pine Hill are cereal, canned fruit and other canned goods, hot chocolate, tea, and seasonal items.

7. Don't be perfect. Sometimes I crave circus peanuts and pop-tarts. I know, it's weird. And Kb enjoys pop and ice cream. These items are not grocery budget worthy, but sometimes we neeeed them. That is where our fun money comes into play. If we want "extras," then we dish out our tightly held fun money.


These are strategies that worked for us! Take on the grocery challenge and see what works for you!

freeeedoooommm

Well, we did it. We paid off all of our debt. As the last big payment went through, there was no big celebration or explosion of confetti. Sallie Mae did not call to congratulate us. Because, let's face it, working to pay off debt is weird and anti- American culture.

Kb and I got married shortly after graduating college. We both had student loan debt; one of us had much more than the other... But we both knew that we did not want debt holding us back from our future dreams.

So here it is. We paid off about $80,000 in student loan debt in 28 months.

We have been following Dave Ramsey's plan with some personal adjustments, and for better or worse, it works. One way we strayed from Ramsey is that we did not use the envelope system. I know, gasp! Well, we used one envelope: the fun money envelope. Last year, we were quite discouraged, and I was tired of telling Kb (the free spirit) that he could not buy this or that because it was not in the budget. That is when we instituted fun money.  At the beginning of the month, we each get $50. That money is to be used for anything outside of survival, including eating out, clothing, "special" grocery items (junk food), entertainment, and gifts. It always seems like a lot at the beginning of the month, but it's really not.

I listen to Dave Ramsey's radio show while I'm driving around in the afternoons. It keeps me focused. I am also inspired and encouraged when people call in to do their "debt free scream." It made me want to feel their freedom, to not owe anyone anything. I'm not brave enough to call in and do our own scream so I'll just pretend I did and answer the questions that Dave asks about becoming debt free.

What started you on this journey?
According to Kb, we started this journey of paying off debt so that we could buy a house and other things we wanted. It's true; we both have average (if not below average) incomes and all of those monthly payments were standing in our way. Also, we believe that being debt free is Biblical. It is important to us to be excellent managers of the money with which God has blessed us.


What was the hardest part?
Kb and I agree that the hardest part was not being able to buy things that we wanted. We are the ones that you laugh at with our dumb phones and Amish cable. We don't go on "normal" dates and eating at a restaurant is rare. We haven't been on vacation since our honeymoon, and we definitely do not pay for trash pick-up. We shop at Aldi and the discount grocery store. Our cars are not fancy, but they are paid for.


What is the key to getting of debt?
Kb thinks the key is perseverance and working together with someone else. Our shared goals and dreams for the future really kept us going, and we always remembered our why. I think the key is making sacrifices. People say all the time that they are struggling with money or that times are tough, but in order for change to occur, you have to eliminate expenses. And you have to work!  Kb and I picked up overtime anytime we could, and we sold things that we did not need. It's similar to losing weight. We all know how to be healthy. We all know that we should eat right and exercise. When it comes down to it, you have to make the sacrifices and just do it.

Having patience is also important. I really, really want a house of our own! Now and then, I look through realty listings and dream a little bit. After we got married, so many people advised us to buy a house. It's a buyer's market after all! But we knew that Dave Ramsey's viewpoint was right. We needed to rent for awhile and clean up the mess so that when we buy a home, it will be a blessing, not a curse.


Now what?
Well, we march on to baby step 3 in Dave Ramsey's plan. We save up a bigger emergency fund and start saving for retirement and a down payment for a house. I am so excited for that last one!

it takes two

Conflict happens. It happens all of the time really. We misunderstand each other, snap at each other, and mess up. Because we know that we are all sinners saved by grace, we respond to confrontation humbly. We share feelings, forgive, and reconcile. But what do you do when the words cut deeper each time, and the apology is absent?

Quite appropriately, the pastor preached a brazen sermon on conflict resolution this morning. We were reminded of the legendary Matthew 18 conflict resolution process. First, discuss the issue with the offending individual in private. If the conflict still exists, involve a third person to assist with the confrontation.

That's where the sermon ended, and that seems to be where the blueprint ends. But what happens if that doesn't work?  Good or bad, bringing the individual before the church simply does not happen these days. At least, I have never seen it happen.

I briefly talked about forgiveness awhile ago, but on the flip side of forgiveness is reconciliation. After the work of forgiveness is over, after I declare in my spirit that the debt is cancelled and the person that hurt me no longer owes me anything, the opportunity for reconciliation begins.

The dirty work of reconciliation, however, is not often discussed, perhaps because the truth is difficult. Dr. Henry Cloud addresses the issue in his book, Boundaries (READ IT!). 

God forgave the world, but the whole world is not reconciled to him. Although he may have forgiven all people, all people have not owned their sin and appropriated his forgiveness. That would be reconciliation. Forgiveness takes one; reconciliation takes two. We do not open ourselves up to the other party until we have seen that she has truly owned her part of the problem. So many times scripture talks about keeping boundaries with someone until she owns what she has done and produces "fruit in keeping with repentance" (Matt. 3:8). True repentance is much more than saying "I'm sorry"; it is changing direction.

No matter how many times those hurtful words are said, I will choose to forgive. But I refuse to continually place myself in a position to experience blame and shame. And I refuse to ignore it, to stuff my hurt and participate in the facade.

And that's the problem. That's the part that our world does not understand.

When reconciliation efforts fall short, what is the next step? According to Cloud, the relationship dissipates without a willingness to change attitude or behavior. I think it is fair to say that is easier said than done. Still, we can't continue to pretend that our families are perfect and our relationships, pristine. We must approach conflict Biblically and with grace.

And maybe it won't go well. Maybe your efforts won't be reciprocated. Nonetheless, we can't settle for fake, plastic-smile relationships. We must step forward and dare to begin the work that is required for the possibility of genuine, healthy relationships.

Sand in my shorts

We don't do vacations. It's simply not in our current financial plan (thanks, Dave!). But now and then, we need to get away. We need to breathe a little different air and tread some new roads. I crave adventure, plain and simple.

Yesterday, we took a day trip to the dunes. We ambitiously took on the longest hiking trail. It was a tough one. The cicada's cheered us on as we traversed the dunes from the beach to the woods and back again. Believe me, I did need some cheering at times.

In the open air and secluded trails, Kb and I were able to talk through a few thorny topics. It was just what we needed. We were only interrupted by the moments that I was digging deep and gasping for air.

We aren't exactly beach people, but after three hours of hiking through hilly sand, it felt wonderful to collapse on the beach and splash around in the cool water.

I soaked up every moment of sunshine, and achieved some closure to the summer. It's been a good season. I made new improvements in the horse show world, started grad school, and expended emotional energy toward peace and conflict resolution.

Now I'm ready. Bring on the chowder and football, rakes and hoodies. Bring on fall.

The Fair and Remembering

Today rounds out the 2013 edition of the county fair. It was a great week with early mornings, late nights, good food and entertainment, and the added plus of near-perfect weather. But this year, there were also some tears.

Grandpa wasn't there.

I didn't see him cruising around on his golf cart or serving the performers or keeping the cowboys in line. He wasn't there to tape off our spot for the parade or hand out carnival ride tickets. We didn't talk horses or take bets on the scores of the 8 second rides.

Even though he was not there, the fair board and my extended family remembered him well.

There was a tribute featuring one of Grandpa's favorite gospel groups and ten friends and family members who recounted stories of Grandpa's grace and passion.

And the family gathered around the stage to watch the rodeo. He was remembered in the cowboy way with a riderless horse and a prayer.

In his honor, the cowboys and cowgirls wore aqua colored bandanas and busted out of the "Herb Maust" chute.

We took in all of the riding, roping, and barrel racing and hung out past midnight watching slack.

This is the first time that I have lost someone close to me.  The grief process is new and strange. Along with the loss of my grandpa, I've watched some family traditions fall by the way side. We missed the pony races, the fair parade, and the Maust family retreat. The family does not get together as much as we used to. Such is the nature of families I suppose, as we get older and the family gets larger. But it felt like we were dishonoring Grandpa.

Last night on our way home, with all of these thoughts swirling around, I came to a different conclusion. The fair won't ever be the same and our family won't ever be the same. But that does not mean that we are dishonoring him. We will always remember Grandpa, and we will carry on his legacy through our lives. We do not need to act like he is still here by doing everything that we used to do. The wonderful reality is that he is not here. He lived his life well and earned his eternal reward.

Fourth Fun

It was a long weekend, full of wonderful things. From barbeque to pie, baseball to horse showing, this Independence Day was celebrated in all of the best ways.

We kicked it off with a family fish fry for my dad's birthday. He fried up the walleye from the latest Michigan fishing trip. After feasting on fresh walleye, no other fish seems very tasty. The company was equally lovely. We oohed and ahhed over my mom's flower patches and container garden.

I tell ya, she is brilliant. This is a garden that I might even be able to manage.

Next, we packed up the camper and horse trailer and headed to Kendallville for the Mid-states Team Tournament. I like this event because it turns horse showing into a team sport. I also like it because our team did very well!

The team in the grand entry!

We rounded off the weekend with a quick trip to Fort Wayne to meet up with dear friends for lunch and a Tin Caps game.

The great thing about baseball? The games are long and provide lots of time to chit chat. And that is just what these long distance friends needed.

Tablecloth Curtains

For some time, I've thought that my little bedroom lacked pizazz. Before we moved in, I hopped out on a rickety limb and painted the walls a blue jean blue sort of color. Not the best choice in hindsight, but I haven't quite thrown in the towel. 

While perusing the clearance aisle of Kohls, I found a fancy, floral tablecloth, and I knew it belonged in my blue jean bedroom. The measurements were perfect; one table cloth per window.

I enlisted the help of my grandma. First, she fed me supper. Then, we cut each tablecloth in half, hemmed the halves to make panels, and ironed the fabric flat. Super easy!

To add to the easiness, my mom found clip-on curtain rings. On clearance. For three dollars a pack.

 The curtain rods were treasures from an endcap in the back of Menards. They've got just the perfect amount of whimsy.

 

Altogether...

Tablecloths: $12 each

Curtain Rings:  $3 per pack of seven

Curtain Rods: $8 each

That's $24.50 per window! It is a bargain that required patience and was several months in the making. Timelines can demolish a decorating budget.  Bargains come along at their own pace, you just have to keep your eyes open!

Showing Gracefully

Horse showing has been the name of the game as of late. We are hitting open shows every weekend from South Bend to Fort Wayne.

Grace has been my prayer for this show season.

Grace for that which we can't control, like the judge's final decision and the horse's ultimate performance. I love that my girl always wants to practice, but regardless of how often we ride, every once in a while that 1000 pound animal feels the need to do whatever it is he wants to do.

Grace for each other. Show days start extra early, and it's a long, hot day. Needless to say, we can get short with each other.

First attempt at the Shankless Showmanship class!

Grace for ourselves. My girl puts so much pressure on herself to do well. It reminds me of myself as a teenager. Back then, there seemed to be so much riding on every show or sporting event. Now, I have the perspective that comes with living a few more years. Life is bigger than that first place ribbon!  Her determination and dedication serves her well, but extra pressure to perform perfectly can lead to a difficult day.

Some weekends are more graceful than others. But we've smoothed over some of our rough edges, and my girl's got a string of ribbons to boot.