indoor summer

It's summer time! Well, summer is halfway over. This summer has been unlike any other. I have spent too much time indoors, in class, and in my cubicle.

In addition, Clyder-man has been sickly. That crazy horse leaves us all baffled and shaking our heads... because he won't stop shaking his head! Unfortunately, because of his issues, he will not be going to the fair next week. This is the first year in the last eight that he won't be the grumpy horse in the box stall in the saddle club barn. 

The vet is monitoring him, and we are working on ruling things out and narrowing things down. Lately, something has broken through, decreasing the symptoms. I have loved riding him again and working on new skills. He learns quickly and is so much fun to train. Tonight, he got his butt down and almost kind of did a sliding stop!

Check out those track marks! He's getting it!

Our big adventure this summer has been house hunting, emphasis on the hunting. Apparently, selling a home is not the "in" thing to do this summer. We have toured some homes, but nothing has been quite right yet. I am very anxious to get my own place with a barn and a few acres for my horses. But patience really is a virtue, and we have no good reason to rush this. I'm focusing on enjoying the process and surviving my indoor summer.

Showing Gracefully

Horse showing has been the name of the game as of late. We are hitting open shows every weekend from South Bend to Fort Wayne.

Grace has been my prayer for this show season.

Grace for that which we can't control, like the judge's final decision and the horse's ultimate performance. I love that my girl always wants to practice, but regardless of how often we ride, every once in a while that 1000 pound animal feels the need to do whatever it is he wants to do.

Grace for each other. Show days start extra early, and it's a long, hot day. Needless to say, we can get short with each other.

First attempt at the Shankless Showmanship class!

Grace for ourselves. My girl puts so much pressure on herself to do well. It reminds me of myself as a teenager. Back then, there seemed to be so much riding on every show or sporting event. Now, I have the perspective that comes with living a few more years. Life is bigger than that first place ribbon!  Her determination and dedication serves her well, but extra pressure to perform perfectly can lead to a difficult day.

Some weekends are more graceful than others. But we've smoothed over some of our rough edges, and my girl's got a string of ribbons to boot.

Loping Around

The grass is green and the horses are being worked, preparing for show season.

I'd like to think these pictures are from the 90's, but in reality, it's just the shirt. Alas, senior pictures, circa 2007, a long six years ago. 

We've had a late start this year. First, winter overstayed its welcome. Then, Clyde-o got a nasty cut. The cut is on his back leg on the inside of his hock, a tough place to heal. The vet decided not to stitch it up so we've pumped him full of antibiotics and lathered him in wound spray and Porter's. The stuff is old school and sometimes hard to find, but Porter's works wonders.  Even with its magical powers, I've been discouraged with the slow healing.

But my girl has a few sparkly new outfits and a shiny new saddle, and she is itching to get in the show ring. So we're prepping for a Memorial Day show, ugly scab and all. Maybe the judge won't notice? After all, concealing flaws is a big part of horse showing. At the least, we'll have some fun and gain a little more experience.

My girl is focusing on a slow lope and a low head. She also wants to try a few shankless and bridleless classes this summer. Yikes! She's got goals and with her hard work and kickin' attitude, I'm pretty sure she's going to do great.

Hang on tight; we're riding into another horse show summer!

My Kind of Congress

We zipped off to Columbus Saturday morning for a quick weekend at the Quarter Horse Congress. It's a three week, horse lovers paradise.

We sat mesmerized by the roping, cutting, and reining competitions, and we walked for miles through the vendor buildings, drooling over glitzy show outfits and saddles. 

Some of our more favorite competitions, like showmanship, horsemanship, and pleasure will be held in the coming weeks. But we don't have to be in Columbus to catch the action! The show is streaming live here.

I can amble around the show grounds in my boots, spurs, button-up shirt, and hat, but I know I'm an outsider. I'm a spectator; I am not truly part of this elite show club. It takes more money and time than I could dream of having right now. But someday. Someday, I want to use my talent with horses and get to the next level.

Not Fair

We had our final horse show of the year last weekend. Horse show days can bring about a firestorm of emotions for kids, parents, and trainers. Everyone is tired and stressed. There is disappointment and excitement, tears and smiles. And it all rides on the performance of a child and her horse and the nod of the judge. This show was a prime example.

Sometimes it's just not fair. The judge makes a crazy judgment. A late entry is unofficially allowed into a class (and then wins the class). The show booth workers mix up which classes are entered into the high point competition.

And then, my protege hears someone else's name announced over the loud speaker, turns to me, and asks through held-back tears if I will go tell them that they made a mistake.

She did so well today and had a hat full of ribbons to show for it. Did she really need another award? They aren't going to take back their decision anyway. Or maybe this is one of those moments where I need to stand up for her, support her. She's worked so hard, and I can tell it means so much to her.

I didn't realize the gravity of her question until much later.

In that moment, I just sat there. I told her that we'll get it next year. Then, I started packing up the trailer. She wasn't very consoled. And how can I blame her? When you're fourteen, these things matter. For realz.

She's come a long way, and she bounced back pretty quickly. As we turned onto the highway, she declared that we are coming back here next year to win that award.

Fair 2012 Recap

The fair has ended.  I stuffed myself with the token soft pretzel, elephant ear, Dairy Bar ice cream, cotton candy, and funnel cake. It's a good thing the fair is so big, and I had to walk off all those calories. 

The horses are home and happy, grazing grass and rolling in the mud. They worked hard, and by the end of the week, Clyde was fed up and ready to go home.

It was a week overflowing with ups and just a few downs. Katlyn and Clyde did so well. Rain or shine, they gave it their all.

They placed in every class they entered, except one. Clyde popped a wrong lead on the English Equitation pattern. Katlyn caught it quick, but it put her out of the running. Notably, Clyde got a Reserve Champion in halter, second in Senior Reining, and first in Western Riding.

Katlyn and Mac did pretty well, too. They gained some much needed experience in the show ring this week, and I have a feeling they will only improve from here.

The most exciting part of the week came late Friday night. The Versatility competition caps off the week, and it is the big-shebang event of the Saddle Club. Versatility is an all day competition that consists of Western Pleasure, English Pleasure, Reining, and Barrel Racing. The scores are tallied in secret and not made known until the final class is completed. The best of the best vie for a coveted placing. Katlyn moved up to the Senior Division this year, and with 27 talented kids, the competition was tight.

We held our breath as the placings were announced....

...and Katlyn got fifth!! Such a great accomplishment, and a great way to finish off the week!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Today was the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year. In this small town, rural area, the county fair is big stuff. In fact, our county fair is one of the largest in the country. All the kids around are in 4-H. I did nine years in Dog Club and 2 years in Saddle Club. I learned a lot, like life is not fair. Because when you get reserve grand champion in Obedience class because the judge says your dog moved during the out-of-sight sit-stay, but your dad has it on video tape that your dog, in fact, did not move, it doesn't matter. You still don't get the gold....err purple. But I'm not still bitter or anything...
I gained confidence in myself. Growing up, I thought that the Saddle Club was for those with lots of money and perfectly trained horses. With my cousins help, I realized that us normal folk can compete in it, too. And sometimes us normal folk can beat the professionals!
And, over the years, I've learned to tame down my competitive streak. Really, it doesn't all have to be about winning and losing. Prepare well, have fun, and don't put so much pressure on yourself to win. 

Anyways, the fair is quite a family affair for me. My grandpa is on the board and is in charge of inner grounds entertainment and the rodeo. My aunts and uncles participated in 4-H, and my cousins found their individual niche in several different 4-H clubs. It brings us all together.

 Unfortunately, this year, my grandpa won't be driving around the fairgrounds on his trusty golf cart. He's been in the hospital, and he just won't be strong enough to make it to the fair. I can't imagine how disheartening this is for him. The fam is making plans on how we will be bringing the fair to him, and skypeing him into the fair board meetings.

Obviously, I'm too old to be in 4-H.  So I've got the next best thing going for me. A girl leases my horses and shows them throughout the summer and at the fair. I give her lessons, help her at shows, and at the fair. The horses get registered tomorrow morning. Clyde seems to be healthy. Yes, it's quite bizarre. He performed very well at the show last weekend. If Clyde and my girl can continue to communicate as a team, I know they will do very well!

For nine days, real life goes out the window. Very little sleep is to be had. There are certain foods that must be eaten. And there are so many things to be seen. I've already got the jitters. It's going to be a great week!

Clyde's Head Shaking

In an attempt to elicit advice, I uploaded my very first YouTube video. It can't hurt to post it here, either. Bear with me; I'm desperate.

Last year, the vet diagnosed him with EPM. He was treated, and the head shaking went away, but it has resurfaced this summer. He has had no noticeable change in his gait or ataxia in his hindquarters, which makes me seriously doubt that it is EPM. I've studied "head shaking syndrome," but Clyde does not display this behavior all of the time, which makes me doubt that it is head shaking syndrome. However, when I ride Clyde when he is shaking his head, Clyde has difficulty focusing and being attentive to my cues. This is consistent with "head shaking syndrome."

For awhile, we thought it was brought on by stress or the heat, but he hasn't shown this behavior at any shows this year, and he only sometimes shakes it on really hot days. This video was taken on June 23. He is ready for a show; that is why he is wearing the sleazy. The sleazy has no affect.

Question your horsey neighbors and interrogate your cowboy friends: have you had any experience with anything like this?

You Hold Him Too Closely

The Clyde and EPM saga marches on. This week, I've been forced to chew on and swallow some hard to digest truths. A year ago, this horse that I raised from a foal was diagnosed with a degenerative, neurological disease.  At that time, with an unpromising prognosis, I mourned what Clyde could have been and what he may never be. I mourned for his short life, and for what I would no longer gain from him.

Treatment apparently didn't work because the symptoms have resurfaced. And so, my tears and cries of injustice have resurfaced as well. I cried for all of the hours that I have put into that horse that would be wasted. I cried because of the income that would be lost due to not being able to use him for lessons. I cried for how painful it will be for me to see the disease progress through Clyde's body.

But when the kleenex ran out, and I found myself alone in my house when I should've been at work, a small, unwelcome thought entered my mind that I knew was of divine origin.

"You hold him too closely."

This horse that I claim as mine and justify that claim by declaring that I've raised him and I've trained him, isn't really mine. He has been my rock steady through the challenges and changes of high school, college, and becoming an adult. He's been my sounding board and my ambition.

He is a gift that has brought me joy, purpose, frustration, and excitement. But he is a gift that is on loan to me from my Heavenly Father. He is not mine, just as none of my possessions are truly mine. When I am confronted with the hard truth that Clyde may be taken from me, my world has just come crumbling down. I am consumed with what I will no longer gain from him. I hold him so closely that the thought of that separation tears me all up.

And so I offer Clyde back to God in repentance and fear.

It doesn't mean that I don't cry anymore. It doesn't mean that I am suddenly free of emotion. But I trust and I know that there is purpose and there is peace in letting go.

I had a reputable vet come out today and give us a third opinion. He observed Clyde shaking his head seemingly uncontrollably, his primary symptom. He asked me a few questions about Clyde's gait and the treatment we did.

He turned to me and asked if I wanted to know what his opinion was. Um, yes.

He said that Clyde has developed a habit of shaking his head to get the flies off.

I laughed at first, and then I realized the vet wasn't joking.

A few "are you kidding me" thoughts entered my head and came out my mouth. But the more the vet gave his reasoning, the more it started to make sense. So instead of spending large amounts of money to treat him or watch him deteriorate, I am going to buy a different kind of fly mask and maybe a fan to help keep the flies away.

Just when I let go of him, he is given back to me.

I'm on a constant journey toward a life of peace. One that is not tossed about by the ebb and flow of a world that I cannot control. There is a trust that leads to tranquility, and one dip into that lake leaves me begging for more.

About Clyde

I have hazy memories of a Saturday in the fall of 2003. I rode with my dad in the diesel truck pulling our rusty horse trailer. It was long drive through the country. We drove over railroad tracks and down a winding road. Our destination was a modest horse farm with an old red barn out front and pastures in the back. We met the lady and she showed us to a pasture full of paint foals. All of the foals were black and white, except one. He was white with sorrel markings and had one blue eye. His legs were straight and his muscling was already defined.

I told the lady that I wanted him. She said that was the one foal that she wanted to keep; he was not for sale. I looked over the other foals, but I still wanted him. I don't remember how it all shook out, but my dad must've worked her over because we loaded the white and sorrel foal and an older bay gelding into the trailer. I learned the foal's name was Mosey Into Class, or Clyde. His momma was a good old broodmare named, Oh No Mosey, and as we left, we saw his daddy, prancing down the fence row. He was a big, sorrel stallion that was built like a freight train and named, Stoned In Class.

Clyde and I became fast pals. Before he was old enough to ride, we went for walks up and down the country roads. I trained him with "natural horsemanship" methods. He was a quick thinker and was excellent at figuring things out. In the early days, I realized that he was spookier than most. We spent hours with plastic bags and tarps, but it was a hurdle that I didn't have the experience to jump. So we sent him down to an Amish farm for a couple weeks. When we pulled down the long lane to pick him up, the young kids were riding him. Apparently, they were confused. The Amish man said he was the easiest horse they have ever broke to ride. I struggled with his spookiness for years. For him, growing up has been the best cure.

When he turned three, I entered him into 4-H. I had no idea what to expect. Some thought I was crazy for bringing a three year old to the fair. He won his first class: halter, courtesy of the excellent muscle tone that he inherited from his daddy. Clyde and I both learned so much in those early years. He excelled in the show ring, and he seemed to love to work.

My youth showing days were too quickly over. But a friend of a friend referred me for riding lessons for her daughter, and an awesome partnership emerged. The family leased Clyde during the summer, but he stayed at my barn. I would give Katlyn lessons and help her with showing him. In 2008, when Clyde was only five, she showed him at the fair. They did great and have done great ever since!

There have been challenges. His "spooky" stage was frustrating, and he still gives Katlyn fits with loading into the trailer. Clyde is stubborn and smart as a whip, which is a blessing and a curse. He strives to please, and he's got heart like you wouldn't believe.

Last year, a week before fair, Katlyn and I noticed Clyde acting strangely. At random times, he would bob his head up and down, over and over. It was almost like he was having a seizure. What ever it was, we knew it wasn't right.

The vet came and gave us the ugly news. Clyde was diagnosed with EPM. We felt like it was a death sentence. And frankly, we weren't far off. It's a degenerative, neurological disease that attacks a specific part of the spinal cord and expands its assault from there. Clyde's EPM was on the part of the spinal cord that was closest to his brain. It created a brain lesion that was causing him to bob his head uncontrollably.

The vet gave him several IV treatments to get us through fair week. After that, we had a big decision to make regarding treatment options. I chose a six month treatment with a very high success rate. My dad or I faithfully pushed that messy, milky liquid into Clyde's mouth every day in the fall and through the winter.

And it worked! He kept his head still and seemed healthy as a hippo. Katlyn and I took advantage of the early spring this year and rode to prepare for the show season. The first few shows went well; we got some kinks worked out.

We knew there was a chance the EPM could come back, but he was doing so well.

But now it's back. I know it for sure. For awhile, I thought I was overreacting or being hyper-vigilant. Now, there's no denying it, and our vet isn't available. I've got an appointment with a different vet this week to discuss our options.

I'm in that great divide with money and the realities of life on one side and this horse that I have loved and grown up with on the other.

It makes me weepy. Seriously, I went in to work late this morning because I knew before, after, and possibly during my conversation with the vet, I would not be able to keep it together. And doggone it my coworkers care too much and would all want to know what was wrong. They'd be so empathetic, which would make me even more weepy. It would've been ugly. I know because it's happened before...

As much as it hurts to admit, I feel purpose in it. But that story is for another day.

I just love this guy, and I don't want our journey to end.

First Show, New Show

Yesterday was our first show of the year. Mr. Clyde was washed, clipped and primped the night before. We got up extra early, and we were dragging a little. Clyde was dragging as well and frankly, had to be coaxed into the trailer. We strayed from our usuals and went to a show that we had never been to before. Change and new places can be scary. They had some rules of which we were not aware. And they did not use patterns for English Equitation and Horsemanship. Who does that? 

Oh well. We rolled with it and had some fun.

She placed in lots but didn't win any. She learned a little more and figured out what we need to work on for next weekend. Most of all, she had a darn good attitude. This girlie has come a long way.

It was a good, hot day. Temps reached the nineties. In May. In Michigan. It was a good test of Clyde's health. A few short months ago, Clyde completed his EPM treatments. I knew that if anything, the stress of the show and the heat would bring that nasty protozoa back. We saw no symptoms! Can I get a "Phew?!"

Mac's Mission

I've spent a lot of time lately on the backs of my trusty steeds, gearing up for show season.

Mac has amassed much of my attention. He was not treated very well at the stable where he used to live. When I took him home, he was really rough around the edges, pushy, disrespectful. His old trainer trained by force, using harsh bits and heavy hands. I don't particular care for that method. I want my horses to trust me and work hard for me because they want to, not because they have to.

So over the past year, Mac and I have built a relationship. In the process, I've realized that he has speed, a lot of go, and quick turns. I decided that I would try to turn him into a contesting horse. Since making that decision, I've discovered that Mac is awfully clumsy, stubborn, and not real smart. I've never ridden a horse that tripped over his own feet so often. And why did I think contesting was a good idea for him, again?

He sure is pretty when he runs, though. Oh why yes, I do wear old tennis shoes to ride once in awhile. Cowgirls, don't be hatin.

When I am tempted to become frustrated with Mac's shortcomings, I have to remind myself that he has come a long way in the past few months. Now he doesn't buck, has a soft(er) mouth, halts with minimal cues, gives to pressure, and always picks up the correct lead. Golly, he is capable of learning! He is consistent with simple lead changes, but I want him to be consistent with flyings. That's what we've been working on here lately.

 The girl that leases Clyde has decided to lease Mac as well this year, as long as he's ready to go. I'm excited to see her become a better rider as she learns to ride Mac. And I'm excited to see how much more Mac can improve! Summer is the best! I can't wait!

The Boys

If I had my way, I'd spend all day with these guys.

Yep, even the dirty one. To the left is Macs Hat McCoy, aka Mac, an Arab/Quarter. He is a reject from the fancy shmancy stable down the road. I worked there once upon a time, and I just took him home with me one day. It has been fun to get to know Mac. This year, we may have found his niche. More to come on that this summer!

To the right is my baby, Mosey Into Class, aka Clyde, a Paint. He is nine this year, and I have raised him from a colt.  I remember picking him out from a field of other paint foals. The owner was adamant that she did not want to sell this one, but somehow, he ended up in my trailer for the long ride home. Mr. Clyde has taught me so much. Quite the enigma at times, but he's done pretty well for himself. A young girl has ridden him for the past several years and shown him at area shows. I very much enjoy teaching her and accompanying her during fair week and at weekend shows. Clyde excels at patterns, on the ground or in the saddle. And every now and then he places high in halter.

The fact that these boys look almost identical is an unfortunate coincidence. Clyde has more color on his chest and Mac has more color on his flank area. Clyde is also stockier and a little shorter than Mac. I definitely do not recommend having predominately white horses unless you especially enjoy scrubbing.

I grew up with an Amish family that lives down the road. The boys and I would race our horses all over our edge of the countryside. My passion began on the dirt roads and wood trails. But back then, I didn't have Mac or Clyde. It was Twinkle, Barney, Midnight, Lacy, and Bobby that were my teachers and my best friends. They stole my heart and let me nap on their backs.

These boys, they challenge me, drive me crazy, and give me so much joy.

Last year we had quite a scare with Clyde. A week before fair, he was diagnosed with Equine Protozoal Myeloencephalitis (EPM). EPM is a debilitating neurological disease that is fatal if untreated. Thankfully, a large majority of horses respond to treatment. A couple of IV treatments got Clyde through the fair. After the fair, Clyde began a six month treatment that consisted of daily oral medication. He's been off the medication for about four months, and so far, he seems to be in the clear. But it's scary because the EPM could come back at any time.  On the upside, my vet says a vaccine is in the works!